by Miss Carly Marie
DEFINITION: Bullshit Person (noun ~ [bool-sheet puhr-sun])
1. A Bullshit person is an individual who fails to Keep It Real on a regular basis. Keeping It Real includes being considerate, mature, truthful, reliable, empathetic, respectful, confident and enjoyable to be around. Bullshitters are inconsiderate, immature, untruthful, unreliable, dismissive, disrespectful, insecure and uncomfortable to be around
2. A person that thinks they are funny, but are not
3. A frivolous individual who is incapable of seeing true beauty or believing in anything positive
SYNONYMS: brute, fool, idiot, jerk, nincompoop, ninny, oaf, rascal
ANTONYM: a Person who Keeps It Real.
1. A Bullshit person is an individual who fails to Keep It Real on a regular basis. Keeping It Real includes being considerate, mature, truthful, reliable, empathetic, respectful, confident and enjoyable to be around. Bullshitters are inconsiderate, immature, untruthful, unreliable, dismissive, disrespectful, insecure and uncomfortable to be around
2. A person that thinks they are funny, but are not
3. A frivolous individual who is incapable of seeing true beauty or believing in anything positive
SYNONYMS: brute, fool, idiot, jerk, nincompoop, ninny, oaf, rascal
ANTONYM: a Person who Keeps It Real.
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RULE#1: Do not get frustrated with Bullshit People.
The first sign that you are talking to a Bullshit Person is that you'll find yourself frustrated with them before you even come to care about them. They will frustrate you because they'll make issues out of thin air and then act like nothing is wrong. To speak metaphorically, they take poop and spray paint it gold and put sparkles on it and then give it to you as a gift and then congratulate themselves for being so generous. Or worse, they will say something that will hit you like a dagger and then claim that they were just joking. This is a tactic used by a lot of people to mindfuck and trick another person into thinking about them romantically. It causes a type of empty and stubborn intrigue that is hard to shake.
If they're a really shitty Bullshit Person they'll even go as far as making you feel crazy to ever think that they'd bullshit you. This happens all the time. In my personal experience, a Bullshit Person will be dead honest with you when you are one-on-one with them. When the time comes for you to hang out in a group scenario they act completely different. And by 'completely different' I mean conniving and petty. If you confront them about it after the conclusion of the group gathering, they will only get defensive and rude.
It is not worth getting frustrated with someone unless you care about them enough to resolve the issue and maintain harmony, but why would you care that much about a Bullshitter anyway? Right? It is normal to get frustrated with someone you care about but it isn't, however, normal to get frustrated with some random motherfucker.
RULE#2: Never miss an opportunity to keep your mouth shut around Bullshit People.
Bullshit people quietly keep tabs on everything you say and will end up using it against you in some future quarrel or debate in a very hurtful and immature way. They will twist your words regardless of how articulate you may be. On the downside this may cause a Bullshitter to become extremely infatuated with you for not giving into their bullshit. It can be a dangerous scenario resulting in threats of suicide or stalking. I wouldn't worry too much about it, since these are extreme and rare cases. Most Bullshitters know enough to stay away from people who Keep It Real anyway.
RULE#3: Do not expect anything from Bullshit People.
A person with severe Bullshit Disorder may deny their actions outright. They will act as though they don't remember key information or events. I stress caution here because they may be telling the truth. Bullshit People never listen or pay attention to anyone besides themselves, so they may be honest when saying that they don't remember.
As a sidenote, Bullshit people will always let you down when you are struggling. They will also always have an excuse as to why they couldn't be there for you. They will forget your birthday, tell your secrets and take every opportunity to get ahead, even if it means stabbing you in the back or using you as a ladder.
Rejection is also a common exercise of a Bullshit person because any kind of real relationship, whether it be friendship or otherwise, scares the living bajesus out of them. Relationships to them equals useless responsibility, wasted effort and opportunities lost. People who think about relationships this way are unhealthy. Relationships are what make life grand and worth living. It is from relationships that we have experienced deep-wheeze laughing, heart-pounding intimacy and tear-jerking comradery.
RULE#4: (The exception to Rule#3) Expect Bullshit people to always rely on gender stereotypes.
There was once a time when men and women could all sit around in big groups and shoot the shit and get along and hang out. I remember these times and my parents remember these times because they were great and fulfilling. Platonic relationships are dying because most human beings have converted to a Bullshit Way of Life. The Bullshit Way of Life consists of constant blame, shallow insecurities, excuse-making and most of all, gender stereotyping.
It is easy to pick the Bullshitters out in your groups of friends. They are the ones always shooting their mouths off about how "girls say they want to talk when really they just want to bitch" and how "guys are jerks because they don't know how to listen". These personality flaws are not gender specific. If a person doesn't know how to communicate by their mid-20's it's because they are socially inept due to their commitment to being emotionally retarded Bullshitters. Girls who Keep It Real don't enjoy bitching, they enjoy having stimulating and hilarious conversations full of insight and honesty. Guys aren't jerks because they don't know how to listen, they just don't want to listen to people nag about weak and gossipy nonsense.
It is also simply that Bullshitters are selfish and do not know how to care or give, which are also dying tendencies.
RULE#5: If Bullshit people are cluttering up your life, find ways to utilize them.
Bullshit people are like Bozo Bop Bags. It doesn't matter how many times you punch them out, they will always find ways back into your life. If you find this to be a consistent problem, do yourself a favour and learn their language. Once you have learned the Bullshitter's Language you will never have a problem hearing the pure voices of truthful and respectable human beings again - they will stand out like cherries on cheesecake.
Remember how you can't remember much from school? Well that's because school was boring and useless and their methods were all wrong. People don't learn anything when you try and teach them how to be. The key is to teach them how NOT to be. Bullshitters provide this. All you have to do is observe a Bullshitter from a safe distance and they will teach you the in's and out's of how NOT to be. The best part is that they will do it without even trying. And it's free! Free schooling! It is a win/win situation!
RULE#6: Bullshitters will always try and bring you down.
Picking a fight, snarky comments and discouraging gestures are all common tools for Bullshitters. You can spot them easily because when they try and insult you they will usually say something irrelevant like, "...yeah, well, nice fuckin' outfit...faggot" even if you aren't gay and you're just wearing jeans and a t-shirt. This is all followed by fake laughs and high fives to their fellow Bullshitters. They're pretty much just the jocks you grew up with in highschool who just forgot the growing up part. Not to fret, all the people who Keep It Real are still around. Maybe they're hiding in the underground. Maybe this note will help them come out. Just stick to your guns and surround yourself with ambitious and soulful people because Bullshitters don't give a shit about anything and you don't want to waste your time and efforts just trying to ward them off when you could be doing other wonderful things. And if you're still frustrated with Bullshitters, just remember and be happy that you aren't one.
The first sign that you are talking to a Bullshit Person is that you'll find yourself frustrated with them before you even come to care about them. They will frustrate you because they'll make issues out of thin air and then act like nothing is wrong. To speak metaphorically, they take poop and spray paint it gold and put sparkles on it and then give it to you as a gift and then congratulate themselves for being so generous. Or worse, they will say something that will hit you like a dagger and then claim that they were just joking. This is a tactic used by a lot of people to mindfuck and trick another person into thinking about them romantically. It causes a type of empty and stubborn intrigue that is hard to shake.
If they're a really shitty Bullshit Person they'll even go as far as making you feel crazy to ever think that they'd bullshit you. This happens all the time. In my personal experience, a Bullshit Person will be dead honest with you when you are one-on-one with them. When the time comes for you to hang out in a group scenario they act completely different. And by 'completely different' I mean conniving and petty. If you confront them about it after the conclusion of the group gathering, they will only get defensive and rude.
It is not worth getting frustrated with someone unless you care about them enough to resolve the issue and maintain harmony, but why would you care that much about a Bullshitter anyway? Right? It is normal to get frustrated with someone you care about but it isn't, however, normal to get frustrated with some random motherfucker.
RULE#2: Never miss an opportunity to keep your mouth shut around Bullshit People.
Bullshit people quietly keep tabs on everything you say and will end up using it against you in some future quarrel or debate in a very hurtful and immature way. They will twist your words regardless of how articulate you may be. On the downside this may cause a Bullshitter to become extremely infatuated with you for not giving into their bullshit. It can be a dangerous scenario resulting in threats of suicide or stalking. I wouldn't worry too much about it, since these are extreme and rare cases. Most Bullshitters know enough to stay away from people who Keep It Real anyway.
RULE#3: Do not expect anything from Bullshit People.
A person with severe Bullshit Disorder may deny their actions outright. They will act as though they don't remember key information or events. I stress caution here because they may be telling the truth. Bullshit People never listen or pay attention to anyone besides themselves, so they may be honest when saying that they don't remember.
As a sidenote, Bullshit people will always let you down when you are struggling. They will also always have an excuse as to why they couldn't be there for you. They will forget your birthday, tell your secrets and take every opportunity to get ahead, even if it means stabbing you in the back or using you as a ladder.
Rejection is also a common exercise of a Bullshit person because any kind of real relationship, whether it be friendship or otherwise, scares the living bajesus out of them. Relationships to them equals useless responsibility, wasted effort and opportunities lost. People who think about relationships this way are unhealthy. Relationships are what make life grand and worth living. It is from relationships that we have experienced deep-wheeze laughing, heart-pounding intimacy and tear-jerking comradery.
RULE#4: (The exception to Rule#3) Expect Bullshit people to always rely on gender stereotypes.
There was once a time when men and women could all sit around in big groups and shoot the shit and get along and hang out. I remember these times and my parents remember these times because they were great and fulfilling. Platonic relationships are dying because most human beings have converted to a Bullshit Way of Life. The Bullshit Way of Life consists of constant blame, shallow insecurities, excuse-making and most of all, gender stereotyping.
It is easy to pick the Bullshitters out in your groups of friends. They are the ones always shooting their mouths off about how "girls say they want to talk when really they just want to bitch" and how "guys are jerks because they don't know how to listen". These personality flaws are not gender specific. If a person doesn't know how to communicate by their mid-20's it's because they are socially inept due to their commitment to being emotionally retarded Bullshitters. Girls who Keep It Real don't enjoy bitching, they enjoy having stimulating and hilarious conversations full of insight and honesty. Guys aren't jerks because they don't know how to listen, they just don't want to listen to people nag about weak and gossipy nonsense.
It is also simply that Bullshitters are selfish and do not know how to care or give, which are also dying tendencies.
RULE#5: If Bullshit people are cluttering up your life, find ways to utilize them.
Bullshit people are like Bozo Bop Bags. It doesn't matter how many times you punch them out, they will always find ways back into your life. If you find this to be a consistent problem, do yourself a favour and learn their language. Once you have learned the Bullshitter's Language you will never have a problem hearing the pure voices of truthful and respectable human beings again - they will stand out like cherries on cheesecake.
Remember how you can't remember much from school? Well that's because school was boring and useless and their methods were all wrong. People don't learn anything when you try and teach them how to be. The key is to teach them how NOT to be. Bullshitters provide this. All you have to do is observe a Bullshitter from a safe distance and they will teach you the in's and out's of how NOT to be. The best part is that they will do it without even trying. And it's free! Free schooling! It is a win/win situation!
RULE#6: Bullshitters will always try and bring you down.
Picking a fight, snarky comments and discouraging gestures are all common tools for Bullshitters. You can spot them easily because when they try and insult you they will usually say something irrelevant like, "...yeah, well, nice fuckin' outfit...faggot" even if you aren't gay and you're just wearing jeans and a t-shirt. This is all followed by fake laughs and high fives to their fellow Bullshitters. They're pretty much just the jocks you grew up with in highschool who just forgot the growing up part. Not to fret, all the people who Keep It Real are still around. Maybe they're hiding in the underground. Maybe this note will help them come out. Just stick to your guns and surround yourself with ambitious and soulful people because Bullshitters don't give a shit about anything and you don't want to waste your time and efforts just trying to ward them off when you could be doing other wonderful things. And if you're still frustrated with Bullshitters, just remember and be happy that you aren't one.
© Copyright Miss Carly Marie 2008-2012
